It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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