Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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