i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
