dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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