Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
