Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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