I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
