Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
