just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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