i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
