I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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