yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
