Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
