OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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