Are we in a gay sports bar?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
