I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
