Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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