you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She announced her abortion via fbk
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
