I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize