Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I want to be your penis for a week.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
