I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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