if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
