people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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