Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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