wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
