ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
