Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize