i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
