I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
