the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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