Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
