people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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