the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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