You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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