they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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