i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We have started to decorate penises.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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