YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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