you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
