I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
