just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
