Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
