I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
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Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
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I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize