Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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