You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
