I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
