She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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