he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
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Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
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like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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