My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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