You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
