come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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