I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
