im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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