I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
