Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
