I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
