the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
