Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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