I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
