Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
