And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
